bonne – Page 2 – Lewis Raymond Taylor

Yesterday’s Shower Isn’t Going To Keep You Clean Today

“Yesterday’s shower isn’t going to keep you clean today”

Someone said this to me in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting a few years ago.

I sniggered at him.

Little did I know he had just imprinted some value on me that now allows me to develop each and every area of my life!

At the time, I didn’t understand what he had said, so it was easier for me to just dismiss him, than it was to accept I didn’t understand.

But what did he mean?

The penny didn’t drop until a few months later.

I realised that he wasn’t referring to personal hygiene…

He was referring to the work I had done on my recovery had only kept me clean yesterday, but if I wanted to STAY clean, it was something I had to work on every day.

This doesn’t just apply to recovery…

The message he was sharing was one of avoiding complacency by taking daily, consistent, action.

Up until this point, I, as well as a number of people reading this today, have probably felt a burst of motivation running through them at some point.

– Maybe it was to get fit in January…

– Maybe it was an idea for the next million dollar App…

– Maybe it was to hire a coach and work on yourself…

Whatever it was:

– You got excited

– Took some steps toward.

– and then stopped.

You started to tell yourself all sorts of stories about how:

“you’ve done way more than you’ve ever done before”

Or

“how hard you’ve worked up until now”

Or

Start to point the finger at Julie from Pilates and John from the pub, and continue to justify your inaction by pointing out how little they have done.

But here’s the message of this post.

Regardless of what you’ve done up until now?

It’s gone.

In the past.

Finished.

The only thing we ever really have control over is the present…

What we do RIGHT NOW…

Today!

Because if you don’t?

– A day comes a week.
– A week becomes a month.
– A month becomes a year.

…and then you’re left explaining yourself to Julie from Pilates and John from the pub about how you haven’t done that ‘thing’ you said you were going to do.

I’ve been there…

Frustrated because I keep realised I am back at the starting line, after seemingly taking numerous steps forward…

But now I’ve changed that behaviour.

By taking daily, consistent, action…

Ensuring I influence my future, my what I do ‘today’.

So I thank the anonymous man at the Narcotics Anonymous meeting for sharing a valuable lesson with me.

Yesterday’s shower isn’t going to keep me clean today.

…and today’s actions are going to move me closer to where I want to be tomorrow.

Are you showering today?

P.s – sorry, I couldn’t resist with the picture ?

I pick my kind of people!

I pick my kind of people!

“Why are you so picky with the people you let into your life, Lewis?”

…a few people have asked me recently.

So, to answer the question:

I’ve got a confession to make…

I don’t let many people in.

– Friends…
– Girlfriends…
– Business colleges…

Ive been hurt before by people close to me, and this causes me to be hyper vigilant around the people I let get close to me.

That may seem protective…

YES! You’re damn right.

I am worth protecting.

My mind, my emotions, my feelings?

Are precious.

…and it’s okay to value yourself enough to decide who you let in.

Once you realise how much you’re worth, and how much you have to offer someone…

You are very selective of:

– Who you allow yourself to be influenced by.

– Who you spend your valuable time with.

If you feel yourself not aligned with somebody, they don’t give you the right vibe, or they make you feel bad about yourself more than they make you feel good…

It’s okay to respect yourself enough to say, “Nope. Sorry. No space for you here”.

It might be that they aren’t doing anything wrong most of the time, so it’s hard to detect – and they even have some great qualities.

But, humans are easily influenced.

We can absorb: looks, vibes, words and everything in between, very easily…

It’s doesn’t take much for someone to really affect your state of mind, and wellbeing.

This will impact your actions.

Which will impact your life!

The reality is, no matter how many positive things someone brings to the table:

– If you feel they don’t appreciate you.
– Don’t have the same values as you.
– Treat you in a way you’re unhappy with.
– Make you feel negative in ANY WAY.

Get them out, sooner rather than later…

As hard as it might be…

Why?

Because your future self will thank you for it.

There are a lovely selection of people amongst the 7 billion people that won’t treat you like that.

And as nice as these people might be sometimes…

Maybe, to you, they just aren’t YOUR kind of people.

And you deserve to be around only YOUR kind of people.

And If that’s picky…

Then I guess I’m picky.

I pick my kind of people ??

I DON’T wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

I DON’T wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

For most, Christmas and New Year is arguably the happiest time of the year.

Now, I’m sorry to break the fairytale – but it’s not necessarily anything magical…

You’re simply doing a cluster of things together that make you happy.

But we assume that it’s a time of the year that is the source of happiness, rather that the actual route of ‘why’ it makes us happy.

So, why are YOU happy this time of year?

Now this will be different for everyone.

HOWEVER…

If you take the take to work out what things are specifically making you happy, you can carry these things forwards and use them to make you happy every day, not just once a year.

?Is it the time off from work?

…maybe you could find a job you enjoy going to.

?Is it spending time with the people you love?

…maybe you could spend more time with people that you love.

?Is it the positive vibes from people spreading Christmas cheer?

…maybe you could surround yourself with people who give off these vibes all year round.

?Is it the happiness from your loved one from opening their presents?

…maybe you could show them acts of kindness and how much you love them all the time.

Because Christmas and New Year is great, but so many people live their entire life for these moments.

Working all year around for a one week holiday in the summer for example – when they could be building a life they don’t need to escape from.

Or this example, waiting until Christmas to do the things with their family they could be doing all year round.

The other problem is ‘wishing’ – I don’t want to wish you anything. “I wish you a merry Christmas”

No!

Wishing, is simply nice vibes and good intentions.

But intentions don’t necessarily achieve results.

Action is what will change things and allow you to create more happiness in your life.

So from me to you:

Enjoy Christmas…

Enjoy New Year…

… but make sure you enjoy the rest of your year too.

I challenge you to search for the things that make you happy, do more of those things, and chose daily happiness…

Not yearly.

I don’t ‘wish’ you a ‘merry Christmas’ and ‘happy New Year’.

I employ you to create yourself a merry and happy life.

Merry life guys! ?

Lewis x

Share if you agree ❤️

I’m swapping fame, for creating IMPACT!

I’m swapping fame, for creating IMPACT!

I thought I wanted to be famous….

But actually I just wanted to be loved.

Shock!

I kind of knew this, but I chose to ignore it and go after it anyway.

But actually?

I don’t want to be famous for the sake of being famous.

I want to be famous for something.

For creating an impact.

For being of value to people.

For being great at something.

Now, I’ve got a talent…

Business and mindset.

I mean, jumping out of prison and changing my life, building businesses from scratch and helping others, probably demonstrates more talent than a pretty face or 2 mins of fame on a TV show.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t like the visibility on TV…

But seeking it, is distracting me from my purpose.

I believe I can see things, some find it hard to see.

I believe I understand things, some find it hard to understand.

And I TRULY believe that I can help people, when some feel helpless.

So, I’ve made a decision.

I will no longer seek fame from modelling or reality tv.

I’ll start serving people EVEN MORE.

I’ll start sharing my story EVEN MORE.

I’ll start adding value EVEN MORE.

And I’ll be EVEN MORE:

Motivating…

Educating…

Inspiring…

… and if that leads me to fame.

So be it.

But I now understand that I don’t need fame to feel significant and loved.

I can love myself, feel the love from others and take great pride in maybe helping others love themselves and their life too.

Bare with me guys, I’m doing a lot of learning recently!

…and although I help people on their journey…

It doesn’t mean I am not on my own journey too!

I will KEEP pushing forward harder than ever.

I’ve got a mark to leave!

Time to swap fame for creating impact in 2019!

Watch this space ?

Taking Big Moves

You need to start being realistic!

How many time have you heard that statement?

A lot? I know I have…

It happens all the time.

People have a vision…

a goal…

a fantasy…

They get excited about it; and they’re right to!

They’re dreaming of a better life.

– more success
– more happiness
– a life where they can do the things they love

But these dreams are often dismissed by society.

People telling you that maybe you should play it safe…

Manage your expectations…

Or my favourite!

” If you don’t have any expectations you won’t be disappointed!”

What a load of crap!

Okay, you won’t be disappointed…

But you also won’t be fulfilled, happy, or excited either!

So, why do people try and reduce your expectations for life?

Because THEY are scared…

And it’s easier to drag you down, than it is to admit they need to change something in THEIR life.

It’s simple, people are afraid of the unknown.

Because the unknown could lead to failure…

And if you fail?

You feel you’re not enough.

And if you’re not enough?

You feel you’re not loved.

Which is something I realise is a big need of mine!

Not because I’m unique in some way…

But because we all crave love.

But here is the thing…

Failure doesn’t = not being loved.

Failure is just learning.

Moving you closer to the things you want from life!

The truth is?

Many people give up on their dreams because they think they’re too difficult to achieve, or because they don’t want to push past this fear of the unknown or fear of failure.

Instead of persisting through failures and setbacks, they would rather settle.

But settling for a life you don’t love isn’t fulfilling.

So…

Next time you’re thinking of giving up on your dreams, remember:

1. The only thing that’s holding you back from your dreams is you.

When you don’t believe in yourself, you’re ultimately stopping yourself from achieving the things you desire.

And who’s going to suffer from that? You.

2. Always have a clear vision. Your dream may be big. But by being clear about the things you want, it will help you focus on your goals.

Remember: everyone who’s achieved anything started off by dreaming.

3. Don’t let people convince you that your dreams are too big. If your dreams are big enough to scare you, then you know that the result will be worthwhile?

In the beginning, your dream might seem so big…

Or so difficult…

That you don’t know how you could ever achieve it.

But…

You need to remember that even though the task might seem huge, it’s really made up by a series of smaller goals.

These smaller achievements will stack up.

And then you’ll build momentum…

Each step bringing you closer to your goal.

And eventually?

You’ll start to achieve your dreams.

And each of those setbacks?

All of your struggles?

Will be be part of the journey that will take you to a HUGE outcome!

So despite what people tell you…

Despite the fear you will feel…

Tell yourself:

Fuck being realistic!

Continue dreaming BIG…

Taking BIG moves…

And making BIG things happen!

Here’s To Love

I’ve got to be honest about something…

I’m a fraud.

I’ve still got a lot of work to do on myself.

I’m laying in my hotel bed.

It’s 6:30 and I’m wide awake.

I went to Will Polston’s Personal Development event of the year this weekend.

I went for networking…

But I left with a breakthrough.

Jairek Robbins spoke about:

– Feeling enough…

…and I knew deep down I didn’t feel it.

– Having enough…

…and I knew deep down I didn’t feel that too.

– Being loved enough…

… and I knew this is the one I really struggle with.

It came to the end of the event and they had a live Q and A…

I was shaking, as my body knew that I was about to push myself out of my comfort zone and seek the next level of my development.

Up until this point I’ve worked very hard on personal development…

I’ve had:

– rehabilitation
– psychotherapy
– psychology
– psychiatry
– coaching
– mentoring

And I’ve also learned from hundreds of other people who I’ve coached personally myself.

But my secret?

I don’t feel much.

In fact, I find it very difficult to feel anything.

My brain works well.

But I keep everything logical.

In my mind.

And completely dismissed something so valuable.

My heart.

I never felt like my dad loved me, and I’m sure this is where it comes from.

When he called me names or hit me, i’d always feel paralysed.

I knew I could never hurt him back because I loved him.

So I made the assumption that he didn’t love me.

I remember I would punch myself in the head in the mirror when I was very young (maybe 6-7) because I was so angry with myself for being a bad son.

My behaviour got worse and in an attempt to stop me affecting my brother or my mum and dad’s relationship, my family ‘ring-fenced’ me from the family (their words)

Growing up, I started to become violent and was diagnosed with an antisocial personality disorder…

The label given to a sociopath/psychopath.

I researched it…

I found out I was supposedly icy, remorseless and incapable of love.

It made sense.

I then took risks and had a few relationships.

The first one?

Cheated on me.

I self harmed when this happened, as I felt totally and utterly rejected and useless.

The second one?

Left me.

She wanted to enjoy single life and said she didn’t love me anymore.

I then went on a mission to fuck my life up when this happened.

I wouldn’t kill myself, but I’d try to put myself in a position where it could happen…

Because I felt I didn’t deserve anything else.

I felt different from everyone else.

Alone.
Unlovable.
Bad.

Sorry!

I still feel:

Alone.
Unlovable.
Bad.

I’ve known for a while this has been a problem.

Something you may not know about me…

I may seem quite popular.

But I don’t really have many, if not any, close friends.

I push people away.

I don’t see my family more than twice a year.

and I’m 99% of the time alone.

I’m scared.

Scared to love.
Scared to be loved.
Scared to feel.
Scared to connect.

I tell myself I’m incapable of it.
I tell myself I’m a thinker not a feeler.

But yesterday, I took a risk…

I admitted something that my body tried very hard to resist.

I picked up the microphone and in front of hundred of people I started to speak:

I admitted to them, and to everyone else that I was dismissing an area of my development.

And that I struggled to feel love and connect with others.

I asked how it could drop from my head to my heart…

I almost choked a few times and could barely get my words out.

Dr John Demartini and Jairek Robbins then proceed to answer my questions…

But I didn’t hear a word.

I realised that I had just got the answer I was looking for.

By simply asking that question…

In the same way I did when I stood up in my first AA meeting…

I had accepted responsibility.

I had took control.

I had regained my power.

I had made a decision to tackle this problem, not dismiss it.

I faced it.
I admitted it.
I declared it.
I felt the fear.
I pushed past it.
I owned it!

I told everyone what I wanted and that I needed help.

I got a round of applause.

People came up to me after and gave me a hug.

Long ones too!

They wouldn’t let me go.

It felt uncomfortable, but nice.

Even one from a bloke felt good.

I guess this was their way of showing me love.

So after all that, I’ve made a decision.

First of all:

I am enough.
I have enough.
AND I AM LOVED ENOUGH.

I will also make a conscious decision to look for the love in people and chose to accept it, not reject it.

I’ll hug people.

I’ll try and express my emotions more.

And regardless of what’s happened in my past…

I’ll also remind myself on a constant basis:

– That I don’t deserve to be rejected.

– I am loveable.

– I am a good guy.

– and I can love others.

FUCK ME THIS IS THE DEEPEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN.

I want to love more people.

Help more people.

And stop being so logical all the time.

I have so much more inside me to give.

Just a bit frightened to let it out I guess?

I’m still processing this myself.

But thank you for reading.

And thank you Will Polston for putting the event on!

As you can tell this post was for me.

And although as ‘attention seeking’ and ‘cringe’ as it may seem…

I’m stepping out my comfort zone, and forcing myself to own this.

It will likely be one of the best decisions I ever make.

Here’s to love ???❤️

You Don’t Have The Resources To Be Successful

You don’t have the resources to be successful!

You don’t have the money to start or grow a business….

You don’t have the time to dedicate to working on yourself…

You don’t have the knowledge, experience and skills needed to be good at something you’d love to do…

That’s what you keep telling yourself anyway, isn’t it?

It’s easier to look at our goals and justify why we haven’t hit them by looking at all the things we don’t have.

When I came out of prison, I went to rehab for 6 months.

Whilst I was in there, I had to sign on benefits…

… and when I was released from rehab:

I had nothing.

– Not a penny.

– No qualifications.

– And my time was spent in full-time education during the day, work in the evenings, and drug and alcohol meetings on the weekends.

It’s fair to say that some would assume I had no resources…

However, I did!

I had the most POWERFUL resource available to anyone…

My emotional and mental state.

I was hungry, determined and opportunistic.

You see, this is a resource that we can all summons up.

One that will allow us to become…

Resourceful!

When you’re resourceful, you can acquire any additional resource you want.

With passion, or hunger, or determination…

– You can take action to start a business.

– Have the patience to get an education.

– Prioritise your life to find the time for things that are important to you.

Because the truth?

Although you feel that you ‘NEED’ all these resources in your life to succeed…

… resources are simply ‘nice to haves’.

They make life easier…

Yeah, lots of money, time, qualifications and experience would make life ‘easier’.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have the things you desire…

To acquire them, you have everything you need right now!

Your emotional and mental state.

So, next time you tell yourself you don’t have the resources to be successful.

Change the story you’re telling yourself…

Decide to become resourceful.

Look in the mirror…

And realise that that YOU are the only resource you really need to have whatever the fuck you want.

Your Kids Aren’t The Priority

YOUR KIDS AREN’T THE PRIORITY!

Parents…

How many times a day do you catch yourself putting your kids above yourself?

Or maybe it’s your partner?

Or your dog that’s your priority…

Like my little friend in the picture.

But, why isn’t it you that’s the priority?

So many people think that in order to care for someone else they need to put themselves at the bottom of the pecking order.

But the truth?

It’s not just ONE person that needs to be important.

YOUR KIDS AREN’T THE PRIORITY!

You and your kids are!

YOUR PARTNER ISN’T THE PRIORITY!

You are your partner is!

YOUR FRIEINDS ARENT THE PRIORITY!

You are your friends are!

You can be right there at the front.

Giving to yourself, and giving to others

Because here is the thing…

The more you focus on you.

The better you become.

The better you feel.

… and the MORE you can give to others.

So, by putting yourself first, you are in a better place to help others even more.

Therefore: it’s selfish to not put yourself first.

Yeah, I know that may have been a bit of a brain fuck…

Because, I’m sure you’ve heard the stories circling around in your head about how selfish it would be to take a night out for yourself, or to work through the weekend on your passion…

It’s not true!

ITS
NOT
SELFISH
TO
FOCUS
ON
YOURSELF!

Truth is…If you haven’t got time in your day for you…

You can be the best wife, husband, coach, salesman on the planet!

But if you don’t choose you for at least a portion of your day…

You can forget ever writing that ‘how I made my 6-figure icome” post.

Or smiling away on the death bed knowing you’ve done everything in your life that you wanted to do.

Stop choosing the mummy guilt, over building the life you desire, or the empire you crave.

Whether it’s:

– Taking the kids to school

– Cooking dinner…

– Looking after your partner whilst they’re hungover or sick

– Or helping your friends brainstorm new business idea’s…

Ask yourself…

When was the last time someone did this for you?

Now I am not saying you should stop doing these things…

All I’m saying is…

Choose you AS WELL as your others.

Next time somebody asks your advice on a new venture…

Why not ask for their opinion on yours first?

When you’ve got 10 blog posts to write but your partner needs dinner?

Ask them to cook.

Take a step back and make yourself a priority.

Because the people closest to you will want to see you happy too.

Watch the movie of your life play out…

And make damn sure you’re the leading character!

I’ve Fucked Up So I’m Giving Up

I’ve fucked up; so I’m giving up!

Ever done that?

Easily done isn’t it!

We can sometimes sabotage EVERYTHING we’ve done because we’ve not got the perfect result we were looking for straight away.

But here is the thing…

You’re mistakes don’t define you…

Well, actually they do, but not in the way you’re thinking of…

You may be thinking;

– I’m a failure
– I’m no good
– I’m useless

But actually, the reason mistakes define you, is they teach you things, and you become a better person as a result.

How many times have you looked back on a ‘mistake’ and said…

“I’m really fucking glad that happened!”

Because a mistake isn’t just a mistake…

It’s a chance to change, and to grow.

Wherever that mistake was…

It brought you here.

I don’t even want to count the amount of mistake’s I’ve made in my life.

But each one got me a step closer to where I am now.

How?

Because I stood up and owned it.

I took the blow and moved straight on forward.

Knowing it was okay, with the hope that it was just part of my journey.

Changing the way you look at your mistakes, will change the way it effects you.

Take your last mistake…

Do you regret it now?

Or did it make you stronger, more focused?

Yup!

So next time you make a mistake,

Look ahead…

Does the journey you imagined differ because of it?

Maybe it will…

But does the end goal change?

No. You can still keep going.

It doesn’t matter how many diversions you take.

You WILL arrive.

Along with all the shit life taught you along the way!

Before you let your mistake make you fall on your arse.

… and before you give up…

Grab your mistake by the balls and use it to continue driving you forward.

 

Why Is My Life So Hard

Why is my life so hard?!?

I can’t begin to tell you how many times in my life I’ve asked this question…

The thing is, in life, there are going to be situations that are ’hard’.

You know what I’m talking about.

Problems that you wish would just go away.

And sometimes, it might seem worse than just hard.

Sometimes, there are situations that are so hard that you don’t think you will ever recover.

Sometimes, you feel like the whole world is crashing around you, and the pain is so overwhelming that you will never be able to succeed.

You might start thinking to yourself…

“WHY ME?”

“Why does my life have to be so difficult?”

“How come I always get the short straw?”

“Why do bad things keep happening to me?”

But, here’s the thing:

Although feeling the struggle might be hard…

And wanting to give up is a natural response…

These challenges are actually the very thing that will lead you closer to your eventual success!

Why?

– Because in life
– In business
– In your relationships
– In EVERYTHING actually

It’s the challenges you face in your life that will help you to make progress.

It’s your struggles that will help you to LEARN and GROW as a person.

That’s why you need to treat them as a blessing.

Because they are!

So, next time you find yourself facing a challenge, take a minute to remind yourself that:

**Even though the struggle might feel tough right now, it’s helping you on your journey.

**When you do reach success, it will make it 10x sweeter.

**Challenges are inevitable in life. Everyone goes through them. You might not always see it…but it happens.

**It’s not what happens to you in life that matters; It’s how you deal with the adversity that really counts.

**Next time you’re facing a problem or an obstacle, reframe it in your mind as a challenge that your can overcome. That way, you can use it to set new goals that you can work towards.

So, to some up…

Yeah, life is hard.

It’s challenging…

And each challenge you face gives you a chance to create a different direction in your life.

One day, you’ll look back on those challenges and think:

Yeah, it may have been hard…

But I didn’t give up.

I learnt something.

I grew as a person.

And I kept moving forward.

And do you know what?

As hard as it was…

It was worth it .